You are in one of America's dullest places. Its a rainy Saturday night. What do you do? What everyone else does, go see a movie.
It was a choice between "Cowboys and Aliens" or "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" (RoPA). "Cowboys" didn't really tickle my and or Nick's fancy at the moment, and RoPA actually got decent reviews on both Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB. So, we decided on the ape film.
Hmmmm, kind of regret that decision a little bit. The trailer, as is usually the case, made the movie look like more than it was. It seemed to be action-packed, but that didn't really come until the last 20 minutes or so......much of the story was taken up by the background of how apes came to be geniuses. I guess that makes sense, you can't just have apes all of the sudden able to compete with humans. Even so though, that doesn't make for incredibly interesting viewing, and it was unnecessarily slow at times. There were also several loopholes in the story that the writers did not even bother to explain, and that irked me, something of a cinema purist, to no end.
Don't come to this movie looking for acting either. James Franco just pisses me off, I am kind of sad he was handed this role, it may have been played better by someone else. For some reason I think Clive Owen would have done better as a genius chemist than Mssr. Franco did. Freida Pinto, who some of you may know from "Slumdog Millionaire" is absolutely gorgeous....but didn't bring much to the film. John Lithgow had a role as Franco's dad, and he was "meh". Brian Cox, who is a very talented actor, had a small part in there as well, but was under used.
I do give the movie credit for its CGI...very impressive. All of the apes were computer-generated, and they looked life-like, very well done. One of the apes was pretty cool-looking too, he had a messed up eye that made him look menacing. The action at the end was neat, including apes battling with riot police, but it was too little too late, my interest had waned by that point. The ending sucked as well, but it looks like they left it open to another installment. I don't know how a story about apes coming to dominate humans is getting so much play (there was the Mark Wahlberg remake what, ten years ago now?) but there you have it, expect another somewhere down the line.
This movie just hit theaters on Friday, so it was a packed house last night. Unfortunately, lots of people means lots of douchebags. I have never heard so much talking in a theater in all my years of film-going. The kid sitting next to me, probably around my age, acted like he had never seen a movie before. It was always, "oh wow!" or "oh shit!" when an ape did something that apes normally don't do. I also liked the "hey, do you think he is dead" from someone behind us when someone met a pretty brutal demise on-screen. You know folks, I think the screening of the new Smurf movie was down on the other end of the hall, maybe you should have gone there to be with individuals on the same intellectual level as you. Oh, and to the fat-fatty Mcfatterson sitting directly behind me, and your equally obese son sitting next to you, I realize that movement of any type, including shifting your fat-ass to a more comfortable position, is probably quite a difficult maneuver for you, but next time how about you try doing it without kicking my seat every.single.time. There was one point there where I thought I was on a roller coaster you were rocking me so much with your fat feet....I declined from turning around and making known the nasty thoughts I had in my head, including telling you that I felt like taking your extra-large bag of popcorn, dumping the buttery contents onto your fat-shit son, and then suffocating you with the bag. But I held off so as not to make a scene. Jesus Leaping Christ, try to show some courtesy to those of us not tipping the scale the wrong side of "what the fuck is wrong with, stop eating".
Anyway, I digress:
Verdict: Nope, I can't recommend this one. Grade: C-
If you liked this movie you might also like: Charlton Heston. Hey, remember that movie "Congo", based on the Michael Crichton book, about the killer apes? That was a cool movie.
It was a choice between "Cowboys and Aliens" or "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" (RoPA). "Cowboys" didn't really tickle my and or Nick's fancy at the moment, and RoPA actually got decent reviews on both Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB. So, we decided on the ape film.
Hmmmm, kind of regret that decision a little bit. The trailer, as is usually the case, made the movie look like more than it was. It seemed to be action-packed, but that didn't really come until the last 20 minutes or so......much of the story was taken up by the background of how apes came to be geniuses. I guess that makes sense, you can't just have apes all of the sudden able to compete with humans. Even so though, that doesn't make for incredibly interesting viewing, and it was unnecessarily slow at times. There were also several loopholes in the story that the writers did not even bother to explain, and that irked me, something of a cinema purist, to no end.
Don't come to this movie looking for acting either. James Franco just pisses me off, I am kind of sad he was handed this role, it may have been played better by someone else. For some reason I think Clive Owen would have done better as a genius chemist than Mssr. Franco did. Freida Pinto, who some of you may know from "Slumdog Millionaire" is absolutely gorgeous....but didn't bring much to the film. John Lithgow had a role as Franco's dad, and he was "meh". Brian Cox, who is a very talented actor, had a small part in there as well, but was under used.
I do give the movie credit for its CGI...very impressive. All of the apes were computer-generated, and they looked life-like, very well done. One of the apes was pretty cool-looking too, he had a messed up eye that made him look menacing. The action at the end was neat, including apes battling with riot police, but it was too little too late, my interest had waned by that point. The ending sucked as well, but it looks like they left it open to another installment. I don't know how a story about apes coming to dominate humans is getting so much play (there was the Mark Wahlberg remake what, ten years ago now?) but there you have it, expect another somewhere down the line.
This movie just hit theaters on Friday, so it was a packed house last night. Unfortunately, lots of people means lots of douchebags. I have never heard so much talking in a theater in all my years of film-going. The kid sitting next to me, probably around my age, acted like he had never seen a movie before. It was always, "oh wow!" or "oh shit!" when an ape did something that apes normally don't do. I also liked the "hey, do you think he is dead" from someone behind us when someone met a pretty brutal demise on-screen. You know folks, I think the screening of the new Smurf movie was down on the other end of the hall, maybe you should have gone there to be with individuals on the same intellectual level as you. Oh, and to the fat-fatty Mcfatterson sitting directly behind me, and your equally obese son sitting next to you, I realize that movement of any type, including shifting your fat-ass to a more comfortable position, is probably quite a difficult maneuver for you, but next time how about you try doing it without kicking my seat every.single.time. There was one point there where I thought I was on a roller coaster you were rocking me so much with your fat feet....I declined from turning around and making known the nasty thoughts I had in my head, including telling you that I felt like taking your extra-large bag of popcorn, dumping the buttery contents onto your fat-shit son, and then suffocating you with the bag. But I held off so as not to make a scene. Jesus Leaping Christ, try to show some courtesy to those of us not tipping the scale the wrong side of "what the fuck is wrong with, stop eating".
Anyway, I digress:
Verdict: Nope, I can't recommend this one. Grade: C-
If you liked this movie you might also like: Charlton Heston. Hey, remember that movie "Congo", based on the Michael Crichton book, about the killer apes? That was a cool movie.
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