First Republican Presidential Debate: Yawn Factory

First, lets take a look at the "roles" that each candidate assumed:

Asshole-Newt Gingrich
Crazy Bitch-Michelle Bachmann
Token Black Guy-Herman Cain
Religious Freak-Rick Santorum
Guy Who Looks Like He Accidentally Walked on Stage- Tim Pawlenty
Crazy Grandfather- Ron Paul
 Greasy Businessman-Mitt Romney (I wouldn't buy a used car from him)

The first question asked was by an elderly Hispanic with a heavy accent. The candidates probably wanted to get him deported. He asked about the economy and how to get people back into jobs, and of course all the candidates just got down to slamming Obama and never really laid out their own plan. Go figure. Bachmann, sticking to her role, didn't bother to answer the question, but did the equivalent of saying "I like turtles" and  said that she had just filed to run for President before the debate. Good start.

It was all down-hill from there folks. Awful debate, if a debate is what you want to call it. There was more agreement at this thing than in the North Korean parliament. None of the candidates even attempted to call out any of their opponnents, but instead had nothing but praise for eachother. Massive circle-jerk (Michelle Bachmann somehow included in that as well) if there ever was one. It was more like a roast of President Obama, except not very funny, than it was a debate. Everyone made sure to get a good shot in, including Ms. Bachmann "I guarantee, President Obama will be a one-term President!" Wanna guess how many terms Michelle Bachmann will have as President? The same number that Anthony Wiener will have as Mayor of New York City.  Tim Pawlently, who apparently called the healthcare plan Obomney care, in reference to its similarity to the health bill passed in Massachusetts while Romney was governor, totally dodged John King's question on this point. He just said it was an allusion to the fact that Obama himself compared it to the Massachusetts plan. Way to go out and get him, Tim, a real-knock out punch there. Romney might as well just drop out now.

I really can't remember anything special from this debate, and I watched all two hours. Thats a good indication of how poor it was. If the Bruins hadn't scored 4 goals in the first period against the Canucks last night, I probably would have watched the Stanley Cup game instead of this mess. Here are some highlights though:

Most un-ashamed "back-rub" moment- Rick Santorum totally going out of his way to lavish praise on Newt Gingrich for his work while Speaker of the House. Apparently he didn't have much to say about Newt for cheating on his wife while she had cancer though.

Worst Answer- Herman Cain. He was quizzed on his purportedly stating he wouldn't feel comfortable selecting a Muslim to be in his cabinet. He said that was taken out of context. You see, there are two kinds of Muslims, the good kind, and those that want to kill us. He said he would feel uncomfortable having the second type in his administration. Well, thank God we got that cleared up. Serioulsy Herm? I mean, you are pretty much harmless, but that was embarassing. Even members of the audience could be seen looking down at the floor, feeling sorry for the guy as he self destructed. Here Herm, here is a pistol, now aim it at your foot, that's right.....

Most Outrageous Claim- Tim Pawlenty, "The Minnesota Meat-Packer", as I have dubbed him. When asked on who made the better Vice-prez pick in 2008, Obama or McCain, he said that Joe Biden has been wrong on everything that has ever happened in the history of man, including the partitioning of Iraq. He asserted that Iraq is now a "shining example" of democracy in Iraq. Really? If car bombs, political assassinations, and heavy U.S. troop presence are the characteristics of utopia, then bully to you Tim. He also claimed that Sarah Palin is just as qualified to be President as anyone on that stage. Well, a majority of voters from your own party happen to disagree on that point, and actually hope that she stays the fuck away from the race. Well done Timmy, well done. Would you like to make comment on her qualifications as a history teacher?

Most Hypocritical Moment- Everyone one on the stage, save Ron Paul, on two counts. First, Libya. Everyone thought that joining the Libya fight was a mistake, but yet called out Obama for not taking the lead on the mission, instead deferring to NATO. Well, which is it going to be folks? Want him to take the helm but not commit any forces? Does that make any sense at all? Didn't think so. The other thing, gay marriage. The whole night all the candidates droned on and on about limiting government and letting to states take care of business. Personal matters like gay marriage though? No way, we need a constitutional amendment to ensure that none of that monkey-business takes place. Only Ron Paul said it is a matter for the Church to decide on, not the federal government. OK, so lets just be sure that the government interferes with our personal lives, but provisioning healthcare to everyone? Fuck that.

Dumbest Question(s)- The little "this or that" game John King played with each candidate, so we can get to "know" them better. Mitt Romney was asked "Mitt, spicy or mild"?. Thank God I now know he is "spicy" kind of guy, be sure to put some picante sauce on his fish at his inaguration dinner. Herm Cain will have the deep-dish pizza though, no thin crust for that fellow. Ron Paul was asked "Blackberry or iPhone" and it looked like he actually had to think for a second what those two things actually were before answering Blackberry in a very unsure way. Gingrich didn't skip a bit with his question though, he would take American Idol over Dancing with the Stars any day. Says all I need to know about you Newt: Asshole.

Thats it for now folks, I hope you could derive something useful from this recap. Hopefully the next debate won't be such a traveshamockery, and maybe, just maybe, the candidates will actually, I don't know, have a debate.

Movie Review-The Hangover Part II: Deja Vu

If it ain't broke, why fix it? The first "Hangover" film made loads of money, so, why don't we just change the setting, tweak the storyline just a tiny amount, and call it "Part II"? I imagine this is what the the people behind this film had in mind while making it. The premise and progression of the storyline are almost exactly like the first installment. The gang is together a couple days before one of their weddings. Go out for a drink. Wake up the next day in some random location having no recollection of what happened the night before. One of them is missing. Shit, what do we do now.........?

But it is still freakin' hilarious. I didn't really care that the story became predictable, or that almost all he plot elements from the first film featured in this one, you see a comedy to laugh, and laugh I, and the rest of the audience, did. Zach Galifinakis' insane character, Alan, is still a hoot, Bradley Cooper still holds his own as Phil and Ed Helms, of "The Office" fame, is indispensable as the neurotic, soon-be-married-to-an-incredibly-good-looking-Thai-girl Stu. The disaster-filled voyage to find out just what the hell happened the night before, and all the raunchy humor that follows, didn't get old, at least for me, the second time around.

Verdict: See it, its still a real riot. Don't bother seeing it in theaters though, $9.25 is too high for ANY movie.
Grade: A-

If you liked this movie you might also like: I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest the first "Hangover".  

Movie Review- Unknown: The Poor Man's Jason Bourne

Unknown is actually an ironic name for this film. I am pretty sure I have seen this somewhere before. A man is pulled out the water (albeit this time after a car accident), can't remember who he is, all of the sudden has assassins chasing him around a European capital (Berlin in this case), and enlists a woman's help to find out just what the hell is going on. Sound familiar? Yes, Liam Neeson's "Unknown" really didn't bother trying to differentiate itself very much from the Greatest Trilogy Ever Made (my own terminology, but you can use it if you like), the Jason Bourne series......

But it is a  poorer version. Have you ever been in a Dollar General or some "dollar only" store and seen a package of Oreos (that, oddly enough, are a lot more than a dollar) and then see the cheap knock-off, called Dollar O's or Choco O's are anything else with an O in it? Well, the Bourne trilogy is like the Oreos, and "Unknown" is the cheap knock-off. The storyline was not as good, the choreography and fight scenes were poor, the acting and dialogue laughable at times (one gem: Assassin: You really have forgotten everything haven't you? Neeson: I haven't forgotten how to kill you, ASSHOLE!) and the general flow of the film didn't feel right. Even the obligatory car chase scene wasn't up to the Bourne standard. One advantage though? This movie had Dianne Kruger. She is a cutie. The women from the first Bourne film wouldn't have auditioned well as a Bond girl, if you know what I mean.

I was a fan of the setting, but the only real good shot of the city came at the very end, as the credits were rolling. Despite what I said about the storyline, it is interesting enough to at least make you want to see how things turn out. Unfortunately, again, the acting was really substandard at times, but I blame it on the writers. As evidenced above, the dialogue just could not be taken seriously. Neeson, Kruger, Frank Langella, and Bruno Ganz are decent actors in their own right (lately, the jury has been out on Neeson, he has made some puppy dogs) but this movie didn't really help their cause at all. I thought it would be like "Taken", but it was not as fast-paced and even the action wasn't as good. Fans of that film will probably be disappointed. At least much of the dialogue was in German this time, unlike in "Taken", where there was zero attempt to use the languages of the locales.

Verdict: If you are really desperate, maybe give it a rent, but I can't seriously recommend it. See the Bourne trilogy again instead. Grade: C-

If you liked this movie you might also like: mediocrity in general. Not to beat a dead horse, but if you liked this movie, you will LOVE the Bourne flicks. 

What comes after May flowers?

Well, that was quick. Here we are, the last day of May. June, barring any unforseen cirucumstances, should be beginning tomorrow. Besides the failed raputure, what else happened in May? Well, my birthday for one, and that is just as big an event as the coming of Jesus.

Well, no trips have been taken (what an incredibly depressing phrase, but alas, it is true), no movies have been watched in recent weeks, and I couldn't find a political or news topic that I wanted to comment on, so I have to fall back on my now regular end-of-the-month-send-off. You all know whats coming now right? The Four Corners Offical Top and Next Destination Lists!

The Top Destinations List again remains unchanged, a damning indictment of my current travel situation, but, work beckons folks. Again, in no particular order:

1. Istanbul, Turkey
2. Buenos Aires, Argentina
3. Tel Aviv, Israel
4.Barcelona, Spain
5. Tokyo, Japan
6. Jerusalem, Israel
7. Kyoto, Japan
OK, well, what about future plans? We here at Four Corners are always thinking about the next stop on a long list of destinations. Look no further than the most recent installment of the Four Corners Next Destination List:

1. Cape Town, South Africa-Until I actually visit Cape Town, will it ever be knocked off its perch?

2. Bangkok, Thailand- As November draws nearer, thoughts of travel in Thailand are coming to the forefront. Hopefully the Red Shirts and Yellow Shirts can keep things quiet around that time, I don't quite like sharing the streets with riot police firing rubber bullets.

3. Sydney, Australia-Sydney is going to be couple with the Thailand trip, so it deserves high billing as well. I just saw a collegue of mine wearing a shirt with the famous opera house on it, a memento he picked up when attending a conference. That bastard! He beat me to it. Not for long you rogue....expect a Four Corners Correspondent sighting in Sydney and other Australian cities soon.

4. Belgrade, Serbia- Oh boy, now we are getting into dark horse territory here. Belgrade is, according to word on the street, a beautiful city, but one that gets little attention. Serbia has been in the news in recent days due to the capture of Serbian war-criminal Ratko Mladic, and it got me thinking........The Four Corners has something of an infatuation with eastern Europe, as evidenced by Bucharest making this list last month. We can't let Serbia's capital city be overlooked either, now can we?

5. Aggra, India- I was flipping through a travel book and stumbled across the Taj Mahal. I haven't been there yet. Crime of the century? Perhaps, but we will have to find some reconcilliation soon.

6. Southern France- But Adam, haven't you been to France? I have dear readers, to Paris, but that is not all France to offer. Marseille, Nice, Toulouse, and Millau. Millau, well, I can't find that on the map, what could possibly be there? Oh, you know, just the tallest suspension bridges in the World, designed by none-other than Sir Norman Foster, a Four Corners favorite. Check out the photo: http://www.offbeatenough.com/interesting-stuff/10-tallest-bridges-in-the-world/
It is number one on this list.

As you can see, I am trying to get a little creative with the Next Destinations List. Expect more of that in the future. Top spots are likely to be repeated (until they are visited of course), but I will try and include some more lesser-known or off-the-beaten path locations that have caught my attention.

Also, if I find some time this weekend, I would like to change the format of this blog and create a new style. Expect changes folks! And yes, it will all still be viewable free of charge.

Cheers. Better get back to work.

The Four Corners' Movie Special

I should apologize to my readership, who depend upon my written word (ok, that might be a slight exaggeration) for such a long hiatus since my last post (May 11), but I was busy playing host to Jiayi, who visited for a week. But, as luck would have it, I am rewarding you all with a movie review bonanza! Four, count 'em, four movies! That is more movies than entered into this year's Cannes Film Festival (Tree of Life, a Terrance Malick film, won. If one of his movies won, there must have been no other entrees, either that or the others were all Steven Seagal movies, after he became fat). Well, its actually more like three and a half, as will become apparent. Well, lets not waste any more time, here, all in one post, are the verdicts:

1. Faster: This movie made me slower.

Faster is an action film starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who plays a thief an a mission to avenge all those involved in his thief brother's death. The movie also has Billy Bob Thorton, which is indicative of one thing: someone out there still thinks that Billy Bob Thorton can act. Anyway, to make a not very long story short: Awful movie. Atrocious. Acting was non-existent, though I didn't really expect any for an action movie with The Rock, so we won't count that against it. The storyline wasn't original in anyway, but it was still bad. There were plot elements that literally made no sense and had no relation to the main storyline. It was like someone accidentally included parts from an entirely different movie in the script.

For an action film the action wasn't even really that good, and to top it off there was a complete lack of any realism. Again, for an action flick, one doesn't really expect much realism, but this movie was getting up to "Crank" levels of stupidity. The editing department obviously was told to stay home on this one. There was one scene where The Rock uses a touch phone to make a call, then after a few moments makes another call, using an entirely different phone. Please people, don't make me laugh.

Verdict: You are joking right? Grade: F; even for a mindless action film, "Faster" really loses the plot.
If you liked this film you might also like: "Salt" and "Rainfall" two others who have fallen afoul of these pages.

2. Thor: Hammer Drop

Maybe its a rainy day out and there is nothing to do around the house, both common occurrences in upstate New York. You will look at your spouse/friend/girlfriend/dog and say "hey, lets go see a movie" (much to the dog's disappointment). You might decide to go see the recently released "Thor". I am telling you that that would be a seriously bad idea.  "Thor" is the worst movie I have seen in 2011. Yes, I know, I just got done reviewing "Faster", but "Thor" is really something special. At least in "Faster" I had the enjoyment of watching Billy Bob blunder his way through an acting role.

I feel like the Marvel Comic movies have on the whole been pretty decent, but their stock just went way way down. There are some big names in this one too: Anthony Hopkins and Natalie Portman. Stellan Skarsgard, an actor I very much like and respect, was unfortunately cast as well. Jeremy Renner even made a cameo appearance. Oh Jeremy, stick with the "Hurt Locker" and "The Town", movies of those ilk, this was so far beneath you. The acting and the lines in this movie were so bad that at points I would laugh out loud. You know that cliche that waiters in Hollywood restaurants always want to hand off scripts to movie execs? Well, some lucky waiter must have found someone having a good day, because his script made it to the big screen with this one. The story was incredibly dumb. Maybe its because I am not a big sci-fi guy, but I can still get into it if it is good enough. In "Thor", it wasn't. I thought that the Thor of the comic books used a hammer to beat the shit out of bad guys. Such a simple plot would have been better than the trash displayed here. I wanted to see Thor dishing out ownage here on earth, not seeing what happens on his fictional planet. Some elements of the plot weren't even explained at all. They just happened, leaving everyone scratching their heads.

Verdict: You would be better off using a hammer and smashing yourself in the face. Grade: F; It has a decent rating on IMDB, don't believe it, its crap. There are much better things, older and newer, out there.

If you liked this movie you might also like: Try this one on for size: Plan 9 from Outer Space. Yes, I thought it was that bad.

3. Public Enemies:Yawn

"Public Enemies", with everyone's two favorite actors, Johnny Depp and Christian Bale, was the "half" movie I was referring to earlier. Jiayi and I watched about half of it and decided enough was enough. Dreadfully boring. I remember being really stoked when this movie came out in 2009, but never got around to seeing it after hearing some mixed reviews. Well, I can understand now. There is a good plot there, and some good acting, but it moves at such a slow pace, is pretty boring, and far too long, and over two hours. Again, decent marks for the acting, but it wasn't enough to make the movie interesting. Much too slow. A disappointment really, for I too am a big fan of both of those fine actors.

 Verdict: I wouldn't recommend it, but maybe someone else with more patience could finish it. Grade: C
If you liked this movie you might also like: The Untouchables, which is much better than this.

4. LA Confidential: Hush Hush

A Four Corners' Movie Review Board classic! I have vowed to only review newer films, but here I have decided to do a throwback edition. In a way it was necessary, with all the failure and mediocrity I have seen in recent days. "LA Confidential" was the only film I saw in the past two weeks that I liked. I am sure many have seen this, and if you haven't, you should. Its a star-studded film, and unlike other films filled with big names (Oceans 12 and 13 anyone?), "LA" is very good, and the acting is of the highest caliber. It was fun watching young Russell Crowe and Guy Pearce in early roles, and excelling at them. If you are a fan of detective noir films, look no further than this film. The story line got a little confusing, but was interesting and engrossing to the point that you didn't want it to finish. I would very much like to see more films made in this vein, and with the same amount of quality. Unlikely though, we will probably get "Thor 2" sooner. "LA" is an absolutely fantastic film, and can more than pull one out of a movie slump.

Verdict: See it, you won't regret it. Grade: A
 If you liked this movie you might also like: Raymond Chandler and James Ellroy novels or hookers cut to look like movie stars. 

May 11th-This Day in History

I am writing this one from my place of employment, so it will have to be quick.

For those of you enquiring (not many, I might add) I was indeed born on this date, in 1989. Much to my surprise, May 11 is not particularly well known because of my birth, but some other things happened on this date: Luxembourg gained its independence in 1867, Mercedes-Benz was formed in 1924, and Nazi war criminal Heinrich Himmler was snatched by Mossad agents in Buenos Aires in 1960 (how very interesting, Buenos Aires was my most recent stop). For a full list of all the events having taken place on May 11 (my birthday hasn't been added yet, should be up soon) check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_11

So I am 22 this year. The double-deuce. Deuces wild. A fine age. One of the best, you might say. As it so happens, in a fantastic stroke of luck, I have discovered that, outside of the United States, I have traveled to exactly 22 other countries. So, in honor of the occasion, I present to you a comprehensive list of all the foreign destinations I have so far set foot on with "Happy Birthday" in the local language alongside (a special thanks to Google Translate on some of these). So, here it is, the Big 22:

Argentina (Feliz Cumpleanos)
Austria (Alles Gute zum Geburtstag)
Britain (Happy Birthday)
Canada (Happy Birthday/Bonne Fete) Two official languages, hats off to Canada, or"chapeau"
China (shengri kuai le) This computer can't recognize characters, so the romanization will have to do.
Czech Republic (Všechno nejlepší k narozeninám) That has to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.
Egypt (عيد ميلاد سعيد eid mīlad sa'aīd)
France (Joyeux anniversaire)
Germany (Alles Gute zum Geburtstag)
Greece (Χρόνια πολλά Chronia Polla)
Hungary (Boldog születésnapot)
Japan (Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu) Same as with Chinese.
Korea (saeng-il chugha) Ditto.
Israel (יום הולדת שמח) No phonetics for Hebrew unfortunately.
Italy (Buon Compleanno)
Mexico (Feliz Cumpleanos) Once de Mayo? No word on any celebrations yet.
Poland (Wszystkiego Najlepszego) Ah, the language of my ancestors. Unfortunately, I don't speak a word.
Portugal (Feliz Aniversário)
Spain (Feliz Cumpleanos)
The Netherlands (Hartelijk gefeliciteerd)
Turkey (Dogum gunun kutlu olsun)
Uruguay (Feliz cumpleanos)

So, there you have it. Just so you know, I don't plan on letting this list stay at 22 for very long. And no, I don't plan on having only 23 when I turn 23 either. Have to come up with something new for next year I guess. Right, well, I had better get back to work.

Cheers.

How many Pakistani spies does it take to find a terrorist?

Sorry for the week or so lay off folk, I was away in Pakistan, I had some, uh, business to attend to in Abottabad. Let me tell you, it is lovely around this time of year.

So how about that? Osama bin Laden, hide-and-seek champion from 2001-2011. I guess John McCain won't have to chase him to the gates of hell after all.

I had thought about writing about this subject immediately after it made news last Monday, but decided against it, hell, everyone from Wolf Blitzer to Anderson Cooper to Bill Maher was on bin Laden's death, I figured they would do well in my stead.

Of course, it is still worthy of a mention. I won't bother to go through the litany of praise for President Obama and all those involved in the operation, we have been over that, and justly so. The Pakistani involvement in this whole thing is really beginning to interest the folks here at The Four Corners (looks around), ok, so basically just me. Anyway, this is the new conundrum. What did the Pakistanis know? Was the intelligence agency,the ISI, complicit, or just embarrassingly incompetent? How do we proceed with them now?  Well, my quick assumption is that, the situation, the World's most wanted terrorist/criminal living in a compound literally yards from the Pakistani military's West Point/Sandhurst is absurd to the point that I actually believe the Pakistanis when they claim innocence. I take the "embarrassingly incompetent" option. I mean, if the ISI was really harboring Al Qaeda's numero uno, placing him in an a large compound surrounded by military types some 30 kilometers from the capital is really just making it too obvious. Wouldn't someone say "Wait, if the Americans actually DO find out where he is, won't that be a little awkward?"? I mean, the ISI is just as reliant upon American funding and help as the rest of the country is, why would they make such a blatant risk? So yes, I actually think that bin Laden was just pulling the old trick of hiding right out in the open, much like Serbian war criminals did after the Balkans war ended.

Either way, its a damning indictment of the ISI/Pakistani military. The fact that this guy could live so close to the country's seat of government in relative comfort for so long without anyone getting a clue points to some pretty dopey spies, if my assumption is correct. The Keystone Cops are apparently the chief spies in Pakistan. I am not exonerating the Pakistani military or the ISI in anyway here, evidence points to the fact that they are involved in some pretty shady stuff, and are two-faced. However, I think that giving haven to top card in al Al Qaeda's deck would be far too risky and stupid a move, even for these guys.

Anyway, sorry no movie review from this weekend, I was planning on watching "The Way Back" with Ed Harris and Colin Farrell, but got caught up instead watching the most recent episode of Bill Maher, I couldn't wait to see what had to be said on bin Laden's death.


My birthday (the double-deuce, 22) is coming up on Wednesday. I would use this space to ask for cash donations for this enterprise, but will refrain from doing so. I will attempt to come up with some sort of celebratory post, I haven't thought of anything just yet though, I will see what I can drum up. My last two birthdays have been spent overseas (2009 in Istanbul, 2010 in Beijing). That run, so it seems, will be coming to a very unfortunate and early end. I, of course, will be working on Wednesday. Instead of birthday wishes, maybe sympathy cards would be apropos. No, no, no time for self-pity, there will be more time for adventures later on. A trip to Bangkok, Thailand, coupled with Australia, in late November is currently in the works. You heard it here first. Watch this space.